Tiki

Do you believe in magic reindeer food?

Marley does.

And if you don't believe that Santa takes your letters seriously, Marley would disagree.

About a week before Christmas 2007, Heath & I agreed that we would put an end to Marley's persistant request for a kitty. Since we frequently stroll through Petsmart just to see the cats, no suspicions were aroused. We petted several through their cages on one side of the store and made our way to where Muncie Animal Shelter houses available animals. I immediately knew the pale orange tabby was the one. I asked an employee if we could hold her ~ we put her on the floor & she just sat there and let the girls pet her. Heath managed to secretly fill out the appropriate paper work, pay and make pick-up arrangements as I went through the usual routine of calming the tearful girls as we left.

Later that evening we were picking up some last minute grocery items before my family arrived and we nonchalantly asked Marley what she would name the orange kitty we had seen. "Tiki", she replied without hesitation.

Christmas Eve was a little hectic as can be when 17 people are living under the same roof, so when Marley asked if she could go sprinkle her reindeer food on the lawn I said "sure" w/out really paying attention. Apparently at school they had put some oats and cinnamon in a zip-lock baggie and attached a little poem to it that reads:

Sprinkle on the lawn at night

The moon will make it sparkly bright.

As Santa's reindeer fly and roam

This will guide them to your home.

I didn't know she had made a wish as she sprinkled.

She didn't know the wish was about to come true.

When the doorbell rang everyone had been instructed to have Marley answer (she looked a bit nervous because, before the chime even faded, about 13 people shouted in unison, "Marley, could you get the door).

It was for she & Ella after all, that Santa had made a special stop that evening.

There on the front porch was a box w/ a pretty red bow. The attached note from Santa explained that he would be back later w/ more gifts, but he had a special gift he needed to drop off early.

Everyone gathered around & watched as Marley opened the box and consequently fell in love.













Marley would come home from school and look for Tiki ~ she would sit, holding her like a baby and watch t.v. Tiki slept w/ her most every night. When we would leave for the weekend, Marley would cry for Tiki to come w/ us and she would race in the house when we returned, anxious to see her. She loved Tiki. Tiki was a special cat ~ gentle and patient and very sweet.

Just a little over a year after that Christmas Eve I sat in the car wondering how I was going to tell Marley that Tiki had died.

Early Sunday evening Marley & Ella were playing w/ Tiki in their bedroom. Marley brought her down to Heath and said something was wrong. She was non-responsive and just lay on the floor unable to lift her head. Ella cried that she would never pull her by the tail again. Marley's chin quivered as she later explained to me how she noticed something was wrong.

I am so thankful to my friend Beth who thoughtfully took them to her house and tried to keep a brave face as Heath and I rushed her to an E.R. vet about 50 minutes away.

Without reliving all the painful details, she had damage to her liver and died while we were there. We were able to be w/ her ~ as hard as it was.

We drove home in silence, both of us going over in our heads how we would tell her. When we picked the girls up from Beth's, they ran to the car asking, "Where's Tiki?" The 2 minute ride home felt like 2 hours as I tried to distract them until we got inside.

After sobbing and crying out Tiki's name for about 15 minutes, Marley began to wipe her eyes & said in a shaky voice, "I'm still really sad, it's just I can't cry anymore."

I understood.

About 30 minutes later she remembered that she had taken a picture of Tiki on her digital camera moments before everything happened. As Heath loaded the picture on the computer, she said to me between sobs, "Mom, if I never thanked you for the camera before, thank you, because if I didn't have it, I wouldn't have got this picture." (My mom had actually gotten it for her ~ thanks, Mom)














I want to share one last thing she said to me that night. She was looking at the picture taken on Christmas Eve when she got Tiki and said, "Sometimes when you see a picture of something you don't have anymore, like maybe a toy or something you won't have ever again, like because it died....it makes you sad to see it. See, look at how sad my face is." She reminiscently looked at the picture for a few moments longer and then turned around and tenderly laid it on top of the dresser. "I can't look at it anymore because it's making me teary."

We told Marley she could talk about it anytime she wanted and I encourage her to write about Tiki in her journal. She has done both. Twice she has shared how she dreamed that Tiki had slept w/ her that night and that she was so happy until she woke up and realized it was just a dream.

Marley handled this situation so beautifully ~ she is truly amazing! And the other day she caught me crying and even as I tried to deny that I was upset she put her arms around me and stayed there until I said I was ok.

Tiki will be deeply missed.

I can't seem to get over it. Part of it is hurting for Marley and a bigger part is a sense of guilt that I should have noticed something was wrong. Maybe after getting it all out tonight I will begin to feel better. But Ella put it best last night as I was putting them in bed. Marley mentioned that she missed Tiki and Ella said, "I know, my heart is breaking."

I know, Ella. Mine too.